Working mum countdown day 20

So today it was another trip to work for me and another trip to nursery for my baby. I felt a bit out of my depth today at work, I’ve been out of the loop for so long I couldn’t join in with any of the conversations and I actually felt uncomfortable being there. I’m not sure I was even that interested. I sat there listening and looking at my colleagues and I wonder whether I need a change. Im not sure I’m needed anymore. I’m not sure stepping back in to my old role is a good thing. It doesn’t seem a lot has changed in the 10 months since I’ve been off. I’m sure this is a common feeling after so long out of the workplace. I must have felt like this last time after returning after my first child but I can’t remember. There was a distinct feeling that I didn’t fit in anymore and that I was not needed. But also that I was not really interested in the discussions or with what was going on. I guess my head is still switched on to full time mum mode. It’s going to take a while for this to change.

Meanwhile at nursery, my baby had a much improved day! Apparently she was much happier today. No tears this time. It’s a relief on one side but on the other side Im sad as she must be getting used to me leaving her. I must not be negative, I must not be negative. It will be a good thing for her. My boy was at nursery from 6 months old and he is an amazing little boy. Nursery didn’t do him any harm. So today she had fun playing in the indoor sand pit followed by roast chicken for lunch, followed by songs and story time. She has a diary now detailing what she gets up to with photos of her having a good time. This is a lovely idea and a great way to reassure parents that children are having a great time whilst they are there. I still have my boys nursery diary. A lovely keepsake. I still love looking through his now. Oh how it seems like yesterday not 4 years! A chapter in his life he will not remember but rests heavily in my memory. A chapter my baby girl is just about to start, 4 years after her brother did at the same nursery. I’ve no doubt she will thrive and love it as much as he did. And I am sure she will have a nursery diary full of great memories and pictures just as her brother does, for me to look back on in the years to come.

Everyone says when you have children ‘they don’t stay little for long’ ‘they grow up so fast’ and they really do!! In a blink of an eye my baby girl will be starting school just like my boy!! And nursery will be a distant memory once more.

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