I’m so ready for my boy to start school, I thought to myself today as he disobeyed absolutely everything. But tonight as I sit here I am teary eyed at the thought of him starting school. As I watch another episode of one born every minute it only seems like yesterday he was born and new in my arms. Blink and it’s gone. I need to cherish every single moment of my baby girl being a baby. It goes so fast, too fast. It’s lovely when they are so in need of you. My boy has become so independent now.
Last evening I ended up taking my baby girl to hospital. She had a fever all weekend which I put down to her latest immunisations. But then she developed this rash and cried all day long, yes all day. It was a virus. Better to get it checked out given the rash I thought. So I’m ironing my boys school uniform tonight instead of last night (I had planned to do it last night to save me stressing tonight). Once again it is a manic evening of dinner, dishes, bathing, nappy changing, breastfeeding, teeth cleaning, bringing in washing, etc. and it’s late by the time I sit down. Very late. Hubby has gone out (lucky him). And who knows what time my baby girl will wake. Her sleeping is all a bit all over the place since she has been ill.
My best moment of the day has to be when we were at the park today. My baby girl decides when we get there a.) she is hungry and b.) she wants to do a massive runny poo. Great. So I breast feed her in the park and tell my boy to be good as I’m feeding. And he’s fine. Great, stage one successful now to stage two. So I lay my baby girl on the grass on her change mat and say to my boy ‘don’t run off stay where I can see you’. So mid change what does he do? Of course he runs off. Oh shit. Ok, what shall I do, leave my baby rolling around on the grass with poo seeping and dash after my boy? Or just continue with the nappy and pray my boy hasn’t gone far? Well, I left the nappy seeping, spotted my boy and shouted at him to come back. How out of control I must have seemed to others. I could feel the disapproving glances. More because I was changing my babies nappy in the middle of a park on the grass than for shouting I bet. I felt out of control for a few seconds. When I had completed the change and had my boy back I had stern words. I don’t think anything sunk in though. As we walked back to the car with him running off and refusing to hold my hand I said ‘roll on tomorrow when you start school!’. But I don’t think that now.
I’m thankful I’m on maternity leave to see my boy off tomorrow for his first day at school. It’s a scary thought and I’m sure is the reason why I’ve been feeling anxious all week. What a big boy. Make the most of being there to drop him off and pick him up I thought. I love being here for him (even if he thinks he doesn’t need me!), just as his mummy, nothing else but that. 103 days to go.