110 days to go…
5 weeks in to the school holidays and I sat there this morning on my sofa looking at my boy (4 years) and baby girl (4 months) without an ounce of motivation to get up and do anything. Nope not a thing. I knew if I didn’t I would regret it as my boy would be climbing the walls, his demands increasing at pace and my baby would not want to be put down or nap so probably would moan ALOT. So I sat there and text anyone I could think of with children to assist me in my mission to keep my children busy, happy and entertained. It’s always easier when other parents and children are on board. But no one was available (sigh and sad face) so it was all up to me today. So I had no choice, I had to find some get up and go. After 30 mins of pondering the web for ideas to entertain my lovelies, I made the decision to take them to a local animal attraction about 45 mins drive away.
So I packed the car, the kids and off we went. How peaceful it is whilst driving I thought. My boy now has an in car DVD player to keep him entertained. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement whilst we holidayed in cornwall but I have come to realise it is an absolute must in order to avoid ‘are we there yet’ every minute of every journey be it 5 minutes or 5 hours. I watch his face in the mirror and his changing expressions as he watches his movie (so cute).
When we get there my boy not satisfied with heading to the attraction we had planned to visit, spots another one on the way and virtually begs me to go in. Me being soft of course agrees, knowing we would end up doing both anyway. What the hell, it will pass more time I thought to myself. So I dodged and dived my way through a very cramped and busy attraction (obviously not designed with prams in mind) with a 4 year old who kept wondering off and with my baby asleep in her pram thinking ‘please don’t wake, please don’t wake’, getting generally hot and bothered. Asking strange men to help lift the pushchair up and down steps (cringe) added to the fun. We make it to our original destination and whizz round so quick it hardly feels like we have been. You never get a chance to look at anything for more than a second with a 4 year old!
So next it was lunch, ‘can I have this, can I have that…’echoing in my ears. And as always I’m looking for that more private spot in order to breast feed. Only to realise that by sitting next to the glass inside the people sat outside can see me in full view! Never mind, I care slightly less these days. It’s the usual routine of opening all my boys food so he can get to it all without complaining (scrapping the rule of eating sandwiches before crisps for ease and reduce whining), cutting my food in to bite size pieces so I can eat one handed and latching the baby on before the crying accelerates. And we eat, all of us together, almost in quiet. As I eat I’m planning the journey back to the car in my head. I knew there was a reason to save the ice cream for the walk back to the car, my boy walked all the way back no complaints AND holding my hand! Score to mummy!
So after a successful trip with basically my boy getting almost everything he wanted along the way (including a mini dino in an egg which slimed the inside of my car) and baby sleeping a lot (whoop whoop) I was surely in for a chilled out afternoon…actually no. There’s dinner to make, breakfast dishes to do (left this morning in haste), washing to put on and dry, hoovering to do, nappies to change, baby to breast feed, snack to make for my boy, 30 day ab and squat challenge to complete (am stretching whilst writing this)…..I’m pooped and not in a very good mood!
So as well as venturing out on our trip and the usual daily tasks there’s been poo on the floor and sick down my cleavage, super fun!! I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. I have realised I am actually expected to be superwoman. This has become increasingly the case since my maternity leave started 4 months ago, whereby for some reason people (namely hubby) seem to think I now have an easy life and have all the time in the world. For example, to keep the house looking like a show home. I wish!! Why should my hubby do the dishes when he has been at work all day? Ironically he wants to walk out the door the minute the kids are screaming and being difficult, admitting then that it’s actually hard work! What I would give for a day at work for a break! I don’t mean it of course. I am actually devastated at the the thought of leaving my beautiful babies in the hands of others. My emotions are torn between resentment for having to go back to work and an ambition to go back to work and do well, to better my childrens lives. My role as a mother versus my role as a professional manager. Two separate identities. I assume this is a common conflict for a lot of working mothers.
How will I cope when I’m back at work?? Ah well 110 days to go. Not that I’m counting. Many more ventures to enjoy before that!